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A Special Announcement, Folks! [May. 18th, 2008|12:21 am]
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[Current Mood | accomplished]

I've got a special announcement to make, folks. The summertime's rolling around next month, so there's no better time than the present to reveal my big surprise! Most of my good ol' friends out there might have noticed that I've been real quiet lately, eh? Well, it ain't for nothing! I've been working for these past few months, writing new songs, talking with some old buddies, playing some real good games of solitaire...

But down to business, my boys!

Folks, friends, good fellows: we're finally getting a pool installed right in the heart of our cozy prison block! Looks like I didn't need your help after all, Udgey!

The contracts were just pushed through. It's final by now. Construction's scheduled to start at the beginning of next week. No need to thank me for the splendid news! The pleasure was certainly mine, boys! This should fix up all the tension round here nice and easy. Now that the pool's coming, you don't got any excuses not to relax anymore, eh?

Oh, and, Freddy? How're you hanging these days? It seems like I haven't heard from you in ages! HO HO HO!
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[Gant doesn't screen. Anyone can see this.] [May. 12th, 2008|02:12 am]
Deggy, ol' friend! You've been real quiet lately. What've you been up to? Decided to settle down for awhile?

I'm damned eager for your next move, my boy. Don't keep me on the edge of my seat for too long, eh?
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[SCENE]: Matt, Wellington and Gant Play a Friendly Game of BBall! [May. 12th, 2008|01:38 am]
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...two vision-impaired queers vs. one massively athletic old guy... )
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[SCENE: Freddy and Gant have a heart-to-heart!] [May. 7th, 2008|02:11 am]
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((OOC: This takes place immediately after the von Karma and Diego cafeteria chat))

Von Karma and Gant have a chat like old buddies! )
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[SCENE - ...Wait, what? That was a joke!] [Apr. 1st, 2008|10:10 pm]
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[Current Mood | crazy]

That was unexpected! )
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All good things must come to an end. [Apr. 1st, 2008|01:01 am]
The guards just told me I'm getting hanged tonight at 10:10pm. Sudden, eh? Where's the two week's notice? I suppose I won't be gettin' anymore of those splendid visits.

Dick, tell the precinct I want them to play Toccata in Fugue at my funeral. You'll do that for an ol' boss, eh? 

Worthy, man up and keep that woman reeled in close. She's a slippery one!

Gellie, I'll be expecting you. Bring the champagne! Don't miss me too much, you'll be all right!

Jakey, I'll send a "Howdy!" to Neily boy.

Emmy, no hard feelings, my girl!

Lannie, whatcha up to these days anyway? Ah ha! Well, that doesn't matter anymore!

Freddy, don't break the eggs!

Morgue, keep working on that technique. HO! Maybe I'll come up one of these times.

Deggy, don't get lonely without a neighbor!

Matthew ... Keep on smilin'!

And Udgey, ol' friend, lend an ear to a dying man... )
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Happy Easter! [Mar. 23rd, 2008|05:43 pm]
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[Current Location |New Prison Cell]
[Current Mood | nostalgic]
[Current Music |Jammin' Ninja]

Another exciting holiday spent with my splendid inmates, eh? Well, time goes on! HO HO HO!

As I'm sure many of you on the internet have noticed, the guards at the Maximum Security Prison got a little bored with their charges. Our cells were rearranged, and I am delighted to see good ol' Deggy as my new neighbor. I'm sure this marks the beginning of a beautiful working relationship. Hey, if it worked for Freddy, it'll sure work with Deggy!

Speaking of Freddy, remember when we had egg-decorating day at the Department, ol' fellow? Today's splendid arts and crafts session reminded me. It was a joint celebration with the Prosecutor's Office. It was on Good Friday some years ago, a little ways before your conviction. Ho! You spent hours perfecting your technique, even after I told you that was quite enough!

It was a shame the bowl of finished eggs was knocked clear over when it was all said and done. All that hard work in shattered bits and pieces on the floor.

...

The guy who did it never did fess up, eh?
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I'm back! [Mar. 15th, 2008|11:04 pm]
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[Current Location |Prison Cell]

Mistakes made, mistakes rectified. Deggy, you can put that on the record for me!

My goodness, I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. All of my free time as of late has let me meditate quite effectively on some recent complications. Have any of my wonderful readers ever experienced a flashback? I'll share one!

Why, I was lying on my cot, whistling a merry little tune to myself, enjoying the peace when I was struck by the strangest tingling sensation in the gut. Kinda like butterflies on a teen's first date, eh? Ah ha! I opened my eyes and saw a lady! But not just any lady. I remember this lady called herself Vixie Tramp. Not very creative for a prostitute, is it? Well, she was a prostitute, all right, and quite the dame. Really headstrong girl.

Headstrong, until the day I arrested poor little Vixie. I found her stone cold dead on top of that motel room bed. The murderer bashed in her skull. Not so headstrong after that, eh? HO HO HO!!!

I saw a flash of white light (funny how flashbacks work like that!) and then I was running after the murderer. I'd tracked him down all by myself. It was impeccable work, if I do say so! I had the murder weapon, the prints, the motive, everything to send him straight to the executioner. The man was more-or-less finished.

But nonetheless, the silly fellow ran from me. I followed! He tripped and fell, I took my shot and he was down for the count.

Another white flash and it was the day-after breakfast party. I was switched to homicide and promoted to Detective for my merits.

Wasn't that a splendid story? I highly recommend a flashback experience! A great way to spend time when you got time to kill, eh? And the funny thing is, I know exactly what caused such a spark in my memory. The signs are all clear now that I can put them into context.

Well! I think she knows what as good as me.
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[SCENE - Breakfast with Manfred, Damon, and Diego] [Mar. 9th, 2008|07:31 pm]
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[Current Location |Prison Mess Hall]

Diego: ((uh-oh, Count's laughing at you :D)) Gant: ((oh shit)) Gant: ((Shut it, County)) von Karma: ((ilu dammie :D)) Gant: ((I can beat the crap out of you, too!)) Gant: ((but i won't)) Gant: ((XD)) von Karma: ((COS WE'RE BFF)) Gant: ((LIEK TOTALLY))  )
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A Pleasant Surprise! [Mar. 3rd, 2008|12:28 pm]
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[Current Location |Prison Computer Lab]
[Current Mood | interested!]
[Current Music |Nickel Samurai Theme Song]

Wrongo, Trite, Wrighto, Nicky -

Whatever you call him, the old boy showed up today! And like all mysteries, he was wrapped up in a baggy black affair and a very mysterious little hat. Tired of the suit? Afraid to show your face to a corridor full of men and women hissing your name in their nightmares? Next time, say hello to all of us, Wrighto. We could all use a few more visitors to brighten our days!

Since I've devoted my time today to musing about a certain spiky-headed phoenix... Ya know, I once thought he was a straight-laced sort of fellow, seeking the truth, putting forward honest (if acquired through dubious means, ah ha!) evidence, springing forward like a hero when things took a turn for the worst, throwing himself in front of a speeding train for friends in danger. My, I believe I was proud of Wrighto for what he could do. If nothing else, he was a wonder to behold as an adversary. And after defeating Freddy and then myself in court as fair as fair goes, I figured he was ready to trounce the worst of them out there. Well, save for that foolish habit of stepping in front of a speeding train just for the sake of his friends. That could get you in trouble some day, my boy!

Though if I recall a certain de Killer incident, it's already been exploited! HO ho ho!

In any case, Wrighto - and I know you're keeping an eye on ol' me! - it seems you've cracked down and given in to the joyful merits of evidence forgery. With all your talk about 'finding the truth,' 'finding the real criminal,' you're really just like Worthy and me, eh? Like Freddy? Did that one smudge on your record with good ol' Matthew across the way knock a few wires loose in that head of yours? Or perhaps locked them back into place! OH ho!

Has it ever occurred to you that perhaps you were wrong that day, one year ago? Regardless of whether or not you were aware the evidence was false, you presented it. Don't you think you shoulda been more careful? Or you shoulda taken measures to ensure that no one else could prove the evidence was forged! Wasn't it your job as an attorney to keep the opposing party in the dark about your strategies? Sloppy, Son, very sloppy!

In fact, I have a wonderful idea. You're having career troubles, eh? I think with your track record, you'd make a perfect detective, Wrighto, my boy. It comes with its own lovely perks, starting at the root of the criminal problem and finding the 'truth' before anyone else. That would be splendid! I'd be happy to recommend you to the department if you find yourself out of work.

And I am certain that will be soon enough, with how you were talking to Deggy today!
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Anniversaries, Therapy and Valentines! [Feb. 25th, 2008|12:25 am]
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[Current Mood | contemplative]

Udgey held a session with the inmates about implementing change in the maximum security prison. Old friend, your intentions were admirable, but they'll never fly. The well-to-do taxpayers of L.A. will refuse to spend their hard-earned money on the menial comforts of common (in my case, not-so-common) criminals. Ah, I don't blame them, the well-meaning folk. I can see myself refusing just a proposal back in my glory days. The only thing I could use in my current condition is a large swimming pool out in the exercise yard, ho ho ho!

Fortunately, the session ended with a splendid display between Richie and Matthew - with Richie as the victor, if it can be believed. How jolly! For me, at least.

My, that constitutes an awful lot of commotion 'round these parts, eh??

On a brighter note - Deggy, friend, I'll play full volume tonight! You requested! I also sent a gift to an old friend the other day. I hope dear little Emmy will appreciate the anniversary cake. No one can blame an old man for making amends, eh?

EDIT: An afterthought! Thanks to those wonderful friends who sent me Valentines. Enjoy yours!
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[[SCENE - Udgey visits Gant on Matters of Business]] [Feb. 16th, 2008|09:58 pm]
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Gant's Valentine Box [Feb. 7th, 2008|05:07 pm]
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[Current Location |Arts and Crafts]
[Current Mood | amused]

*Triumphantly completes an orange, red and black contraption with a hole in the top. It reads, "GANT'S VALENTINES" in black crayon on the side with a bespeckled smiley face under it.*

Ho ho ho! This is the trendy thing to do, so have at it!

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The Busy Life in Prison [Feb. 7th, 2008|12:33 am]
 

Ah! So sorry! Life around the prison is busy, and with all of those prison arts and crafts sessions, can’t keep on top of these things all the time! Ho Ho Ho! But I’m sure my readers understand, whoever they are.  I’m sure many can’t help but eavesdrop into the life of an imprisoned police chief.  I can think of a few people who could be taking notes.  I'd take tabs on myself if I were them!

 

The cell arrangements have changed, and sadly, I can no longer call old Freddy a neighbor.  His life must be so dull, without me to call company.  What will happen to our late-night card games?  The practices with the jailhouse band?  Our bonding in the mess hall?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Ah, the mess hall bonding can still occur.  Let’s do breakfast, Freddy! Ho ho ho!!!

 

I now find myself in the delightful company of the younger inmates.  Of particular interest is the boy in the biker outfit just across the way from my cell.  I’m a little concerned about him – Matthew, I think, is his name, the good fellow! – he says the most interesting things in his sleep.  I’ve been watching him in the mornings, giving him a friendly ‘Hello!’ and a wave as he gets up.  Sadly, he seems reluctant to start a friendship with me.

 

He will come around sooner or later.

 

On a different note, according to my wall calendar, the season of love is coming upon us!  I have a late resolution! I think it’s about time I let the water flow under the bridge.  I’m going to take advantage of the birds and the bees flitting around the air and do something special.  Splendid!

 

But for now, my plan will remain a secret.  Can’t have the cat out of the bag yet. That will be left for another day.

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[OOC: Profile] [Feb. 6th, 2008|02:03 am]
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